Happiness is a state of satisfaction, and appreciation with life.  It can be passed around in a emotional kind of way.

Budda said it best — Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.–

Makes one think how do we stay happy and be that one Candle can that has light thousands. By creating your own happiness through action and thought I can be happy. It has taken me years to understand that concept. That only I can change my life. No one else can do it for me or to me. That if I want happiness I have to embrace it and change myself. Other may start the flame but I have to maintain it.

Happiness can be hard at times I am a glass if half empty type person.  You really have to be understanding and have you goals play out for Happiness to occur, but once you fail with a major goal sadness starts to creep on the outer edges. We become unsatisfied with life. If it happens enough we become disillusioned and unhappy. Yet if we understand that we can bend and reshape our lives toward happiness by acknowledging that our goals can realign again. We can then feel that we are worthy of being happy again.

We have to enjoy what we do, the people we are around, Know that we can depend on loved ones. We can’t force, coerce, or otherwise manhandle what is considered and emotion and special. We have to be active, participate, and sometimes we need to do the things we love, be with people we love, and like. In order to be happy.


What every Women should know about our rights!!!!

Up until very recently (I would say within the last 30-40 years) women had to ask there husbands permission to do anything. I remember when my grandmother told me in order for her to get her own bank account she had to have my grandfather there or they wouldn’t allow her to have a bank account. Even then she said they both had a hard time making the bank officials make it so that she was the only one on the account. I can’t remember why she needed her own account just that it was a savings account and papa said that she needed her own money. My Grandmother also told me a story of how she lost my twin Uncles because a Doctor wouldn’t listen to her and kept telling her everything would be fine, it wasn’t they died just days before they where born. I have read many women’s blogs on the internet about their stories of sexism in the workforce, blunt discrimination, utter humiliation, and other history I wish that wouldn’t have happened is still happening, and men that believe it even now in our own free country.

There are just a few historical areas I read (see the bottom of post). What I don’t understand is that in this day in age after women’s Suffrage, voting rights and education. That there are men out there that think that just because we don’t have a penis, have a mind, want to plan our families, make a name for ourselves, and do what we want with out a man around that they still want to control our lives, decisions, and try to make us beneath them in every way possible. I am just glad I am pagan and don’t believe all that other religious crap. My father is atheist and believes that every one of his girls (there are 4 of us) should be independent. Yes I have a husband but I am the bread winner of my family. I took birth control my children are eight years apart. I have several degrees of course they are all undergraduate degrees but that was all we could afford and one was by accident. My husband is not controlling he is supportive of me. I vote at every election I know about. I know about all the major elections. I tell my daughter and son that they both need to be self sufficient and not depend on anyone because it could happen I may not be there, or their husband or wife may not be there.

The Wikipedia definition of Sexism, also known as gender discrimination or sex discrimination, is defined as prejudice or discrimination based on sex; or conditions or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.[1] Sexist attitudes are frequently based on beliefs in traditional stereotypes of gender roles. Sexism is not just a matter of individual attitudes, but is built into many societal institutions.[2] The term sexism is most often used in relation to discrimination against women,[3][4][5][6][7] in the context of patriarchyPatriarchy is a social system in which the male acts as the primary authority figure central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and entails female subordination. Many patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage.

Wow, when I read this I thought no wonder my Grandmother had to tell me her story. We were no more then Property and slaves back then even though in my Grandmothers time we had the vote, suffrage.

When men (politician men, religious men) don’t even know how the female body works and try to dictate policy on health, birth control, what is rape/incest and abortion with out consulting females themselves; I just want to scream ” THERE IS A WAR ON OUR NATION, A WAR ON WOMENS RIGHTS, A WAR OF CHOICE, A WAR ON WHAT IS RAPE and WHY OH WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO TAKE AWAY PLANNED PARENTHOOD WHEN THEY DO SO MUCH FOR THE POOREST WOMEN I EVEN USED THEM WHEN I WAS YOUNGER FOR HEALTH CARE….”( I can’t believe ,yet have to,  that there are men whom seem to think there is a such thing as  legitimate rape and that planned parenthood does only abortions which is untrue. ) *smirk*. MEN should not have the right to tell me what is best for my body without consulting me my husband consults with me about my health. I should be able to talk to my FEMALE doctor and ask her advice then should be able to consult with another doctor if I think I need to do so. I know men feel the same way why would they want women to direct the health care, their sex life if they need Viagra or any other medication, medical surgery for sterilization, and so on.

There are many other reasons to get an abortion, or to be on birth control other then the reasons that are officially given. The life of the mother (child birth is nothing to laugh at it is dangerous for women and many women die each year trying to have a baby) if it will save the mother I am all for it, if the mother wants to try to have to baby yet can’t make it till the fetus is viable and it will kill her and the baby. Take the baby. The woman’s life is more valuable than an unborn child, especially if she already has children.

Women every year find out they need birth control for problems other than for controlling whether eggs pop out such as fibroids, PMS, and other female problems of the uterus.

So although many people are trying to force the issue of taking women back to the days of suppression when we didn’t have rights. I am not one who will stand by and allow this to happen.  I have to write and speak. I don’t want to go back to when Men thought we were property. To when Men had everything and we had nothing. TO WHEN RELIGION SAID WE ARE NOTHING BUT VESSELS FOR MALES. I am equal. I am a female yes. But I a smart woman, mother, wife, and I can make my own decisions about my health, about whom I love, about my life will end up as. Because in the end we may be all judged, karma has a way of coming back to us all but the Goddess and God knows our circumstances. I believe that things happen for a reason and must learn for the reasons given for the choices made. We can’t make others choices for them they must make them for themselves. We can’t intervene in choices made by the individual about themselves all we can do is support the individual in their choice.


http://www.dadsnow.org/index2.html this is a very interesting History













http://blogcritics.org/books/article/book-review-sexism-in-america-alive1/ hum will have to read this book.



New Facebook interface


Since I seem to be on face book more than here I decided that it would be nice to do a group of sorts. Hope you all join me.

Losing weight

I hate trying to lose weight. All I can say is this last year I have been the laziest person around. I eat right but I love my sweets so I am constantly eating too much. I am going through the Atkins low carbohydrate system so far I have lost a few pounds. But feel my husband is not helping me but sabotaging me. He too need to lose weight and know this. His health is horrid with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. I love him very much but I don’t feel like he is on my side. I have been having to make my own food just so he doesn’t throw in carbs such as pasta, or bread on to my plate. He usually makes all the food, but lately I just don’t trust him with my health and I should be able too. Why is it the one we love feel that when we try to make ourselves healthier that we don’t love them and are trying  to find someone else. Yes that is directly out of his mouth not in those exact words but you get the point. I need him to see it from my point of view. I need to lose weight. I need to be more out going if I am to beat this depression to dust. I need to see my husband try to make himself healthier( although I can live with what ever he choses I will support him in his choices). I need to be able to walk outside my front door and not have everyone telling me I am fat and need to lose 75 lbs.  I know that isn’t really all that heavy compared to some people.

I think this is about my self esteem, me in general, getting older is not for the faint at heart, sometimes I wish I was my younger self because I didn’t have all these aches and pains, varicose veins, wrinkles, white and gray hair. Heck I even know I am not that old being only 36.  Yet, I feel much older. I remember when I would ride my bike everywhere now I can’t even get down my drive way with out panting.  I don’t expect to myself to be younger though just be able to ride my bike to town if I want or walk about 5 miles and not pant and have to sit after walking half a mile.

I will need to sit down with my husband and tell him my feelings. Writing down thing always put everything into perspective.


Rosebuds Journey– A Story told from a cats point of view.

It was a warm day for December. I was lying in my cage along one side of the wall. Looking around at nothing in particular but feeling miserable. Then I heard humans in the area where they kept the dogs. Come in here I said to myself I need your help. And to my surprise they came in through the door. I perked up a bit feeling as bad as I was. I didn’t want to move around much.
“Aw honey look at all the cats. I really want a cat.” said the Woman. She was short compared to my keeper and The man with light brown hair, medium beige skin, green eyes that hid behind glasses and plump wearing jeans and a green shirt and grey sweater.
“Make sure that it is short haired and not a kitten Elizabeth.”said the man. He looked over at her lovingly his light blue eyes calm. The man started to look around as he did I noticed that he was taller than my keeper with a golden brown hair and hair all over his body not like mine but still a lot for a human.

“Which one is the calmest one?”asked Elizabeth looking back at my keeper.

“Well!” Said my keeper. “This one is.” Getting me out of my cage and handing me to Elizabeth.

“Ah yes so calm aren’t you.” She noticed.

I purred as she stroked my head it was rather soothing. She looked around all the while holding me.

“Steven look at this little one. Isn’t he adorable” Elizabeth pointed to a little black kitten. I needed to get her attention so I reached out with my paw to grab the cage with the kitten and then I sniffed. Oh what is that they are giving the kitten to eat it smells good. So I reached out with my other paw.
“oh no you don’t.” Elizabeth said pulling back from the cage.” That food is not for you.”
The keeper took me back and put me in a cage.
“I think we will take that little calico.” Elizabeth stated. “What do you think?” She looked over at Steven.
“Yes she might fit in. Is she good with children.” asked Steven.
“Yes she is always the one we take out when they come in.” Always calm and allows them all to pet her. ” If she doesn’t get adopted in a few days there was a little place that houses cats that was going to take her and see if they can find a family to adopt her.”

“When can we get her fixed.” Elizabeth asked.

As they where walking out the door I wondered if that was what was going to make me feel better. I couldn’t hear anything else, but no more that a few naps later the keeper was coming in and giving me shots. ‘
“MEOW!” I said. That hurt. But I was hoping that was going to make me feel better. She then proceeded to put me in a crate. I was going some where. I came out of the room I had been living in for many weeks.

“Meow!!” Where are we going. I laid down and swayed with the crate. “Meom” Please tell me where we are going.

“Oh there is the pretty girl.” Elizabeth said,” Your coming home with us.”

I am perhaps they will make me feel better. We got to the place they called home it wasn’t big but I was able to find hiding places fairly easily so I could watch them. The smells where so different. I hid until someone found me.

“Okay kitty time to meet the rest of the family.” The younger man said.

“Miles you found her.” Elizabeth stated.

“Yep hiding in in the book case in my room.” he said.

“Salena meet our new kitty.” Elizabeth Said bring me closer to this kitten.
The kitten came closer and petted me between the ears.
“Whats her name?” Salena Asked.
“She doesn’t have a name yet.”Answered Elizabeth.
“I want everyone to think of a name.”
All the while I was being petted. It felt nice. But I was still a little scared. As soon as they let me go I went back to my hide out in the book case. I went out when the house became quiet the smells where new but I liked this family.

I was there three days still feeling horrible but a little better to have people looking after me, petting me, feeding me the food I like and named me a pretty name. But today they took me and put me back in the crate to go somewhere. All the while I wondered where. When we got there I smelled other animals like the place I living. Oh no there giving me up. I thought we had such a good thing going.Wait what are these new people doing. “Okay Rosebud time to sleep for a little while your getting spayed today.” She stuck me with a needle and then I started feeling tired.

Later that day I woke up groggy and feeling lousy but not horrible. I decided I was going to go right back to sleep and sleep it all off.

The next day Elizabeth came and got me.
“Your sure she is going to be okay.” She asked.
“Yes.” Assured another woman. “Just make sure she takes her pills until they are all gone.” What pills are they talking about all I know is that I still feel tired but at least I feel better. The pain is manageable now.
“Okay.” And we left. “Your going to feel better now Rosebud.”
It took several days of laying around, but I did feel much better. Some much so that when I saw the feathers and string swinging around on this stick I attacked it and went after it I caught it many times but it always seemed to get away. “There you go my little rosebud.” She put the stick somewhere I could entice me and I couldn’t resist it I attacked it until I collapsed on my side on my blanket.

Update on Book of Shadows

Okay, I am here to update you as to what has happened with my book of shadows. I have many pages done and and figured out how to print them on my printer so that I can do a book format. But feel I haven’t really worked on much just mostly templates for journals, gardening, addresses, to do. I didn’t realize that could be so time consuming. I made a few pages for actual my Belief in Wicca. Life though tends to get in the way and as usually throws a curve ball at us. Its that time of the year to get things done such as planting seeds that can survive this time of year and cleaning the garden if you haven’t done so already (I tend to be a procrastinator really a bad habit I am trying to break myself of). But it is getting done Slowly but surely.

The Circus

This last Thursday my family and I went to the circus I had been to a circus before and thought it would be entertaining for my whole family. Well my son decided he didn’t want to go so we didn’t make him although I still feel as if we left him out. We got there and paid for our tickets and since we were early noticed they had set up animal rides. So we set out to see how much it cost and bought a elephant ride for our daughter Salena. She went around twice and petted the elephants head my husband noticed that the elephant look rather bored and sad I had to agree that she did indeed looked bored. Anyway she got down and we went around to the seat via the concessions on the way there our daughter asked if she could get a light up sword and of course we did but told her we could not afford to buy much more. Then we took our sets. It seems like it took awhile for the show to start but we did arrive rather early. Once the show started we got to see a cat trainer and his Bengal Tigers some Yellow some white about ten in all. Some large some small and they all had their tricks and they all wanted to play with the trainers stick that he put meat. It was neat.
Then we heard the roar of an engine and then on a tight rope a motor cycle moved up it attached to it was this metal trapeze with two women. The women preformed many different tricks some upside down splits, one where one women twirled hanging from the back of her neck and head, Some of the trick where really aw inspiring while others not so much.
From there we saw a clown act which was quite the comedy he used stuffed animals at the end one stuffed animal was actually a dog dressed as an elephant and not a wind up toy. My husband and I agreed that was one smart dog to be able to pull off everything it did.
We saw an elephant act with 3 elephants sitting and stomping around their circle do a variety of tricks with each other. Another act of rope tricks with women doing so aerial acrobatics on ropes and still another act with cloth and trapezes. The night was full of wonder.

But I do have to say that it was the most commercialized circus that I have ever been too. Between acts they constantly pushed the vendors selling the various toys, cotton candy, popcorn and drinks. During the intermission there where the rides, and after intermission was the coloring books. All in all, I can say we had fun but at the same time felt like we spent way too much money and I felt as if I was constantly under attack to buy things for my child that she really didn’t need that she wanted just because everyone else was getting it I had to say no way to much. I did break a couple of times to get cotton candy and a water.

Some times I just want to have fun with out spending an arm and a leg. We had fun and I wished we would have brought the camera just to capture those rare moments that were all together memorable.