Happiness

Happiness is a state of satisfaction, and appreciation with life.  It can be passed around in a emotional kind of way.

Budda said it best — Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.–

Makes one think how do we stay happy and be that one Candle can that has light thousands. By creating your own happiness through action and thought I can be happy. It has taken me years to understand that concept. That only I can change my life. No one else can do it for me or to me. That if I want happiness I have to embrace it and change myself. Other may start the flame but I have to maintain it.

Happiness can be hard at times I am a glass if half empty type person.  You really have to be understanding and have you goals play out for Happiness to occur, but once you fail with a major goal sadness starts to creep on the outer edges. We become unsatisfied with life. If it happens enough we become disillusioned and unhappy. Yet if we understand that we can bend and reshape our lives toward happiness by acknowledging that our goals can realign again. We can then feel that we are worthy of being happy again.

We have to enjoy what we do, the people we are around, Know that we can depend on loved ones. We can’t force, coerce, or otherwise manhandle what is considered and emotion and special. We have to be active, participate, and sometimes we need to do the things we love, be with people we love, and like. In order to be happy.

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Today

Live your day as if it is your last.

Tomorrow may never come.

Live you life Happily and with love.

For Happiness and love is all you have and it is yours to give.

For if you live your life as if it is nothing

Then you become nothing.

Help those around you.

Don’t loan Money if you know it will never be paid back

give it instead.

If you see someone in need Do something.

For Today May Be your very last day to help a person.

Treat people like you want to be treated.

For if you treat those around you with Happiness and Love they will treat you and others the same.

Complaining about something doesn’t fix the problem take action.

Open your Mind, Everyone has a story.

We are all genetically the same species the outside does not show what is on the inside be happy we are all different.

If we where all the same life would be truly boring.

me.png

This is me My name is Elizabeth. Can’t remember when this picture was taken but it’s not more than a five years old.

Having a Life :Still working on it

Boy the weather is warming up in fact it is scorching outside now. Will have to figure out how to keep the plants watered and weeded guess I will have to go out earlier in the morning or later in the evening when the sun is at its lowest otherwise I may get heat stroke.

I have been trying to improve myself. I started making small changes in my life. Just wish I understood how to make friends easily I feel like an outcast.  So small changes.

I save money for myself to use on stuff anything that I may want. It is only 20 dollars a paycheck. Yet, I can buy clothing, or go out to eat, or even attend so function because I have put money aside to live my life.

I am now a member of a gym. I try to go at least twice a week. I just have to move more being in my forties well I am not a spring chicken anymore I am overweight and realized that I spent most of my life sitting or laying down not good for the body. It was probably also contributing to depression, mood swings, pain in my legs and a whole boat load of other problems. I am just glad I haven’t had to be on any major medications.

I work on my garden a little everyday or every other day depends on weather saves on having to do a major weeding or pulling out plants that are infested with blister beetle. I live so far away from a city that I actually have a little thief in my garden tends to like the bird seed and the sweet potatoes. I think its the deer eating the leaves of the sweet potatoes, the bird seed though has me stumped it broke the bottom of the can I was keeping it in. So it could be a raccoon or possum not really sure.  Also I see deer and a faun, guineas, skunks(UGG), squirrels, Beavers, Armadillos, wild pigs, raccoons, Wild Turkeys, various wild Birds ,and possums.

I am working on sleeping at night during the week which for me is very hard to do. I work a sixteen and two twelves that are centered around night in a Hospital Laboratory over the weekend leaves me very tired. I tend to sleep all day Monday and stay up Thursday night for a little while so that I can sleep on Fridays. So Technically I have three days off Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

I have been working on eating healthier. You would think that eating healthier would be easy It isn’t. There are just so many options at there. Such as Paleo, All Natural, Weight Watchers, Mediterranean diet, The Various Ketogenic diets, Vegan, Vegetarian. I can tell you through out my life I have tried several of these diets. They tend to work for a little while and then I want or need to have other foods that are not on the diet most of these diets are very expensive, are not very filling, have to plan and I am usually not a planner, and/or require very strict food restrictions. UGGG! Who really wants to deal with that. Certainly not me.  So My approach eat the foods I like no processed foods. Exceptions are Bread, Milk, Cheese, sour cream, yogurt, and foods that have been cooked fresh.

I have also put my books down to look outside and do these other things.

Also I am going to really try to publish more here.

So I am still working on having a life. Tring to make good friends although that eludes me.  If any one has any ideas I am all eyes. Just write a reply.

Humm Me and other things.

So I have come to several conclusions 1. I am horrible at keeping at anything with out motivation. 2. I really need a house very hard to do exercises outside in the rain and very miserable that I give up and come in. 3. I hate fling insects Mosquitos, Deer flies, Biting Flies ( Which can take a hunk of flesh when they bite and boy does that hurt had a knot, sore, and bruise for two weeks). All this culminates in me not liking to exercise outside. So what is a person such as I to do. Well I considered going to the gym. But there again I need motivation and I am just not motivated not to mention that I am out of money trying to pay of my bills (be happy for me I paid off 4 bills Hoorahh two more years to go to have them all paid off).

I want to get lost I guess. I read like constantly, must read like 2 books a day they are like Xanax to me. I know I am trying to escape. I guess depression is a more of a problem then I thought humm.

I don’t have many friends and I think they are more of work acquaintances I just don’t hang out with them except at work. I have a very large family but most of them live far away. I visit one sister all the time. I feel lonely, awkward, and unwanted even by my husband at times. I am awkward because I am so INTJ according to Myers-Briggs psychological type. So allow me to explain.

Wikipedia:

  • I – Introversion preferred to extraversion: INTJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extroverts gain energy).
  • N – Intuition preferred to sensing: INTJs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
  • T – Thinking preferred to feeling: INTJs tend to value objective criteria above personal preference or sentiment. When making decisions they generally give more weight to logic than to social considerations.
  • J – Judgment is auxiliary function (J or P illustrates auxiliary to introverts): INTJs tend to approach life in a structured way, planning and organising their world to achieve their goals.

 

And Believe it or not but that sounds exactly like me.

INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They tend to be insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.— Sandra Krebs Hirsch

I also have a hard time explaining what I am thinking to others. To them it doesn’t make sense or I am not explaining in a way they understand but makes total sense to me. I tend to not say anything because most of the time I can’t explain what I am thinking. It can cause fights or misunderstandings sometimes.
This I believe is the reason I find it hard to find friends. Wikipedia :{As mates, INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. The most independent of all types, an impression that is not always intended, and may not be true at all. In their interpersonal relationships, INTJs are usually better in a working situation than in a recreational situation.} A lot of people like Drama and I really, really, really, hate Drama.  I am very Socially Awkward and always seem to make mistakes or feel rejected. Unless they are other INTJs which I work a lot with although not all are and those people tend to understand me to some extent although.
I know I tend to put myself in a box, But for me this is the easiest way to explain.
So I am a unmotivated, escapist, Socially Awkward, shy, lonely person and I want to change. But Change Is SO, SO Difficult and takes these tiny steps when I want to jump to the end. I keep hearing in my head just keep going just keep going. I guess hopefully I will change something in myself eventually.

Change is a Challenge

Change is hard at First Messy in the middle and Gorgeous at the end. — Robin Sharma