Body Shaming and Sexualizing Children

Okay so I got on today and started reading about a Girl that Got Sexualized by her Teacher and sent to the office because of her clothing. This of course is not the only time I have heard of this and I know many others hear about it also all across the country.   Here is the Article: Teen Sexualized and Body Shamed.

Yet, It really made me think about the time my son was in Kindergarten. We as adults tend to sexualize everything. We try not to but sex is a big thing to us. We get embarrassed, we shy away from the subject, we don’t want to think about it but we do. Anyway, when my Son was five years old he gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek to a girl this got him sent to the office for inappropriate touching. Inappropriate Touching from a five year old hummm. One they don’t think like we do this to me is innocent touching either as reassurance or to tell someone you think as a friend that you care about them. I argued with the principle about this I mean they are 5 years old if they where 12,13,14 and up I might question the touching but at 5 no, no, no. My son and I had a talk about the touching to which I had to explain that some people don’t like you to touch others in that way (to which I then had to tell him that adults don’t think like he does and tell him that it was a sexual overture to the girl; then explain what sex was which of course goes to my point that it embarrasses us). And this disgusted me that I had to explain to my 5 year old what sex was; he really didn’t need to know this information yet and I still had to talk to him about it ugg. The rules for us should not be the rules for a five thru 10 year old.

Children as a whole at ages 1 to about 12 do not think of sex. They do not think of sex unless they are being sexually abused. Which I have experience with I was Sexually abused as a child. I was shammed into thinking it was my fault that it was happening because I was a bad little girl. Yet because of my mentality I understood in some way that this man was wrong, but because he threated to hurt my mother, sister, and brother I said nothing  and allowed it to happen because I had no idea of what to do or how to deal with what was happening I was trapped. When all I had to do was tell a teacher or other adult. I don’t know if my mother would have believed me; She says she would have but I really have my doubts. When I was in ninth grade all this came out. I guess my mother was going thru somethings and found pictures of me naked with her ex I am not really sure but the guy got put in jail for child abuse and child pornography and I helped put him there. It also came out that he was abusing my brother and sister also while I was trying to protect them. It is now a case of what I know now if I knew then sort of guilt. Can’t change it yet it still happened.

Looking at that picture of the girl (that is Fully covered by the way) made me think really people I sometimes wear less to work. I am a plus sized woman with a DD Bust with a strict dress code at work and I can wear less than this girl could. What do they want her to wear a burka. But this all goes back to a dress code that really sexualizes girls and young women. One hardly ever sees a dress code for the male gender. If they really want them to wear certain clothing they should make them wear uniforms or Dress shirts and pants that they provide for sale to the parents. In fact make it like a corporate setting and make them wear suits that would make everything easier not to mention instill a “dress for success” mentality. It also gets rid of the competitiveness of dressing up or who is richer and who is poorer, because they wear the same clothing all year long.

The idea that girls should control what they are wearing to keep boys from being distracted is just dumb. This damaging claim perpetuates rape culture and reinforces the myth that it’s up to women and girls to prevent men from committing sexual violence. The idea that it is the fault of the girl for not keeping herself covered is such a myth and outright stupidity I just want to yell and scream. Men and boys will do what they want regardless of what a girl wears. People in general will do what they want. We as a people should instill that they need to control their own urges. This Illinois High School has the right idea: “All students and staff should understand that they are responsible for managing their own personal ‘distractions’ without regulating individual students’ clothing/self expression.”   School girls should not be sexualized they should be treated with respect and dignity regardless of what they are wearing.

Now if we can just get the rest of the country on board.

 

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